In my last update, I mentioned that I received an offer to study part time to qualify for my postgraduate certificate in law (PCLL). It affected me badly I’d wanted to finish the course in a year, and then get on with a masters in England in September 2017. With my part time course, that is no longer possible, as I graduate from it in summer 2018. I also had to postpone my search for a job at a reputable law firm.
I’d been assured throughout my undergrad career that I would definitely get into the full time course. That had been a source of comfort. In my fourth year, managed to rescue my GPA, and I graduated with decent second-first honours. So when I was only offered a part-time place, it was a shock.
I owe it to my family and friends that I didn’t go into a hellspiral. My father and my mother offered what encouragement they could; my brother was doing his duty to distract me, whether it be demanding I cook with him or challenging me to board games. My friends – both in my class and outside of it – checked up on me, dragging me outdoors. One even kidnapped me to take me to Disneyland.
Slowly, I got better. It was still hard to tell people I had a part-time offer, but I stopped being self-conscious about it. However, with a part-time course I had the whole day free, with the evenings reserved for classes, and my search for a part-time job was fruitless
I fell into a horrible habit of sleeping at four in the morning and waking up at noon. I’d sit in front of the computer and stare at YouTube, not accomplishing anything. I’d stay up till the wee hours lamenting my uselessness, and break down in tears. In the morning I was groggy, lethargic, and ill-tempered.
It took a workout to kick me out of my state. One of my friends from England had invited me to go to a yoga class with her in early January, and after we’d hung out and studied together in a little cafe, I marvelled at how much lighter I felt. I could sleep soundly for the first time in weeks, and I no longer felt as jittery or irritable.
So, with January nearly ending but the Chinese New Year around the corner (next week!), I made up my mind about a few things. I’d get off my ass and do things I actually wanted to do. I wanted to get fitter and not run out of breath walking up the stairs. I wanted to learn Python. I wanted to start a recipe journal. I wanted to write more, connect with more people. I wanted to actually finish a goddamn novel for once.
There are more pressing things I need to complete: clear out my wardrobe, clear out my old notes, clear out my cosmetics, clear out my shoes, move my piano, redecorate… On top of that, I’d keep up with job-hunting, applying for my masters in 2018, and qualifying for my professional licence.
It’s intimidating, but it’s given me a purpose, and it’s helping to get rid of the pent-up frustration and energy that refused to go away. It’s going to be an entertaining – and occasionally painful – ride, and with any luck, when the year ends, I’ll have accomplished most, if not all, of what I want to do.
What about your own new years resolutions? How are you coming along with them? Or have you sworn off them entirely, for your own reasons?