Personal

Re-connecting

Ever not spoken to someone for well over two years when suddenly, that same person Facebooks you and asks to Skype you one day? That happened to me two weeks ago, and it’s an odd experience to have.

Don’t get me wrong – first off, it’s great to be able to re-connect with someone, especially those that you shared a close and cherished relationship with. The Internet has meant that it’s ever so easy to find the old friends you’ve lost, or you’d like to reconnect with. It comes with its own flipsides, of course, but that’s another topic for another day. I know I certainly wrote my final-year thesis on it.

But back to the main point. Yes. Re-connecting with someone you haven’t spoken to. It was odd. Also thoroughly not helped by the fact that the relationship in question ended… civilly. Civil is not cordial, or amicable. Civil is just… polite.So, how was it? Bizarre. Oddly so. It was almost as though nothing had changed at all, just back to the old days, laughing and joking around. And that terrifies me, because there’s this elephant in hte room that neither of us addressed – or want to address – because to be entirely honest, there is no graceful way to bring up the break-up two years ago without it chilling the conversation, or shutting things down.

I find it’s a common trait of mine: cowardice. I’ve always been a coward, preferring to compromise, mostly at my own expense as opposed to others. I let my feelings curdle and sour in my stomach, leaving myself with a husk of something that could have been or should have removed that becomes a burden, one more piece of baggage that I don’t really need.

I’m rambling again. It wasn’t a bad experience – I certainly walked away feeling lighter than I had in years. I don’t have an explanation for that either, but it left me with more questions than answers. It’s one more lesson I have to learn – that I won’t ever learn the answers to everything. It’s one that drives me up the wall, especially when people tell me “there’s no definite answer” (a law school staple!), but it’s one I will have to accept. For now, I think I’ll just be content with what I have, the friends I treasure, and the odd re-connecting. Always count your blessings, after all.

 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Re-connecting

  1. I can relate to your post. I have some friends that I used to talk to on social media for hours everyday, but then suddenly we would stop talking then a few months later the cycle would begin again. I also have a sort of cowardice trait inside me in terms of pleasing others or friendships. I tend to do whatever the other person wants, or says because I would rather please them, even if the outcome isn’t the best for me. I guess that is why I made a blog, to express my feelings and opinions openly. Anyways, great post that got me thinking 🙂 xx

    1. I think that inevitably comes with our generation – we grew up with the Internet, and it’s so easy to start/stop communications, but also equally hard to foster a deep relationship! I do agree though – that’s what blogs are for, and definitely one of the reasons why I started my own.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s